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I give you, the Monajlo Song


Okay, I know I'm weird but I guarantee you'll laugh. Well, only if you've ever heard the song London Bridges by Fergie. Anyway, my best friend and I wrote a song one night and it goes a little something like this... [Please remember, we laugh all the time about J.lo getting in trouble with PETA, the rest is a few random inside jokes we have. For example, we have a joke about J.lo liking moose meat. Don't ask. Enjoy!]

[Intro]
Ah yeah (Ah yeah)
Ah yeah (Ah yeah)
Ah yeah (Ah yeah)
They ain't ready fo this.
Ah yeah (Ah yeah)
AHWOOOOO!
It's me, J.lo.
The Ho!
Girl!
Jlo, jay,
what's up fatty?
AHWOOOO!

[Verse 1]
When I come to the castle, run and hide. (Ah yeah)
Get the treats, don't be handin' me a swine. (Ah yeah)
DUI cuz you know I've had a pint. (Ah yeah)
I'm Jlo Puff, I'll give treacherous times.
Ah yeah (Ah yeah)
All my cats get down on a crow. (Ah yeah)
Beak to beak, eat 'em up real slow. (Ah yeah)
I'm such a lady, but you know I'm really J.lo. (Ah yeah)
Cuz you know I ain't got any dough.
So here we go!

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
I wanna smash you down into the ground.
Like smashy smashy smashy, wanna go down like,
Like smashy smashy smashy, we goin' down like,
How come everytime you come around,
I wanna smash you down into the ground.
Like smashy smashy smashy, wanna go down like,
Like smashy smashy smashy, we goin' down like,

[Bridge]
Freaks start screaming and my ears start bleedin'
Everybody start soundin' real bad.

The dead moose got your girl feelin' spruce. (Ah yeah)
Now I'm wishin that I had some turtle shoes. (Ah yeah)
I've got a coat made out of sixty-five shrews. (Ah yeah)
PETA always puttin' my ass in the news.
Ah yeah (Ah yeah)

And I'm all like, get off of my case. (Ah yeah)
So what if I wiped out a whole race? (Ah yeah)
Your tail makes me wanna have a taste. (Ah yeah)
You got that?
I got a mace!

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
I wanna smash you down into the ground.
Like smashy smashy smashy, wanna go down like,
Like smashy smashy smashy, we goin' down like,
How come everytime you come around,
I wanna smash you down into the ground.
Like smashy smashy smashy, wanna go down like,
Like smashy smashy smashy, we goin' down like,


[Bridge 2}
Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, J.lo, Woo, Woo, Woo-Woo.
Me like a fatty, hide the food when I'm around.
Fergie the Duchess of Pork, man, she's really round.
Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, J.lo, Woo, Woo, Woo-Woo.
Me like a fatty, hide the food when I'm around.
Fergie the Duchess of Pork, man, she's really round.


[Verse 2]
When I come to the castle, run and hide. (Ah yeah)
Get the treats, don't be handin' me a swine. (Ah yeah)
DUI cuz you know I've had a pint. (Ah yeah)
I'm Jlo Puff, I'll give trecherous times.
Ah yeah (Ah yeah)
All my cats get down on a crow. (Ah yeah)
Beak to beak, eat 'em up real slow. (Ah yeah)
I'm such a lady, but you know I'm really J.lo. (Ah yeah)
Cuz you know I ain't got any dough.
So here we go!

[Chorus]
How come everytime you come around,
I wanna smash you down into the ground.
Like smashy smashy smashy, wanna go down like,
Like smashy smashy smashy, we goin' down like,
How come everytime you come around,
I wanna smash you down into the ground.
Like smashy smashy smashy, wanna go down like,
Like smashy smashy smashy, we goin' down like,

Screw You, Veggies!
j.lo was kissin skunks!

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Quote of the Month - September 2006

Dee dee dee!
"Like I really, I don't remember. I'm not, like, that smart. I forget stuff all the time."

- Paris Hilton

Paris, stupid? No Wai! (I can't believe I just used that phrase) Like, I always thought she was really smart like, y'know? Like, that Steven Einstein Hawking guy or whatever. You know, like that robot dude.

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Quote of the Day - September 2/3, 2006

I'm so bloody wasted right now, I looked in the mirror and thought it was Cher.
"My problem is that by the time I understood a little bit about life, I was well on the way to f**king burnout."

- Ozzy Osbourne

My problem is that by the time I understood what the heck you were saying, I had already turned on Being Bobby Brown.


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"When I heard "She Loves You," my world went up like a shooting star. It was a divine experience. The planets changed. I used to fantasize that Paul McCartney would marry my sister."

- Ozzy Osbourne

Wait...What?


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"Dogs smoke in France."

- Ozzy Osbourne

Sure they do.


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"I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never urinate at the Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober."

- Ozzy Osbourne

I highly doubt that.